I am a mother of two wonderful young adults, my natural born son and my daughter, who was adopted fifteen years ago from Kien Giang province in Vietnam. I write as a mother in search of information and connections specifically to families with children from Kien Giang, and as a professional sharing amazing stories about the power of thought, intention, and intuition, because I have another remarkable tale to tell.
Adoptive parents know there will be identity issues that differ from a biologically born child, but for those who are international adoptive parents and have children that come from third world countries, the challenges are more tenuous.
In the adoption process we were told records including medical and social histories about our daughter, would be very limited, and the odds of finding her birth parents and other family members in the future, would be a daunting task. I often wonder how other adopting parents in similar situations Face An Giang react to receiving this kind of information. I know it is part of the givens in any adoption, but I still am curious about how one comes to terms with these loose ends. I knew there would come a day when my daughter and I would cross many rickety bridges together. And on July 7, 1995 the first day I held her, I pledged I would do everything in my power to help her reconcile the conflicts of being orphaned and adopted, and being a child of two worlds, cultures, and families. When she was ready and the time was right, I promised we would return to Vietnam with hope and a will to persevere, on a mission with prayers for a miracle.
This summer in the aftermath of a huge emotional eruption, many wounded feelings finally plunged to the surface. My daughter’s need for closure blared loudly….The question of the influence of nature versus nurture may become very real to the adopted adolescent, who is trying to determine the impact of all of these influences on his or her own identity. This stage of development includes questions about the biological family, why they were placed for adoption, whether the adolescent resembles the birth parents in looks or in other characteristics. Accompanying these issues of identity are issues of self-esteem. At this age, the teen understands the concept of relinquishment, and may feel rejected or view themselves as damaged goods, even though they cognitively know how a girl gets pregnant, and can understand why someone might not be able to care for a baby after it is born. Although they are older, adopted teens still may not have worked through all their feelings about their adoption. Adolescents often express their reactions to loss by rebelling against parental standards